Nervous Ticks

Clearing our throats excessively, tapping our foot, fidgeting with our fingers, tensing our stomach muscles, stretching/pursing our lips, blinking rapidly, sniffing through our nose, even coughing, can all be examples of nervous ticks. EVERYBODY's got them, and there is nothing abnormal about them, since our body is our medium for expressing anxiety. However, if they become an irritation or disrupt our daily lives, we CAN reduce them with simple techniques intended to raise our awareness and ability to catch them before they happen.

Can't decide? Indecision is the worst decision!

Having just moved into a new apartment, I went shopping yesterday for household items like cleaning materials, and was overwhelmed with the variety of options before me. Wipe or spray? With or without bleach? Which brand? Did a higher price mean better quality?

 

I felt time passing and my anxiety rising as I grabbed item after item trying to compare and make a choice. Finally out of frustration I moved on and left the decision for another day, perhaps after I had done my “homework”.

 

How often have you found yourself at an intersection struggling to choose the best road to take? How often have you avoided making a decision for fear of making the “wrong” decision, which perhaps would result in some catastrophic chain of events? Or making a decision and later doubting your choice for hours or days?

 

Fear of the unknown - i.e. when there is more than one viable option or when the result of our actions is unclear – results in a sense of anxiety which is sometimes paralyzing. But not a day goes by that we don’t make hundreds of little decisions, often unconsciously, where the outcome is unclear. If you look back you’ll find that most often your foreseen catastrophe never took place. The price we pay for indecision is often greater than making a mistake: mental anguish, putting off time-sensitive decisions, inability to enjoy the fruits of a “good enough” decision. Often the mistakes we make aren’t as bad as we predict, and even give us more confidence to make decisions in the future.

 

So the next time you find yourself stuck in the grocery store, give yourself 30 seconds to review the facts, then grab a “good enough” option and move on! That’s what I’m going to do later today.

Black-and-white thinking

Black and white thinking is when we believe something needs to be "perfect" or else it is unworthy. This may relate to our work, our relationships, or ourselves. But in this world, how often is perfection attained? And how often was your boss really that unhappy enough with 80% or 90% quality? When we demand more of ourselves than the environment, we end up beating ourselves down even when our behavior was "good enough", and missing an opportunity to be happy!

 

 

The Superman Syndrome

Pop Quiz: When the steward/ess prepares you for flight and explains about oxygen masks, who should you put the mask on first if you have a child? Your child or yourself?

Most people instinctively say their child. However, the answer is "yourself". Why? Because if you don't take care of yourself you aren't strong enough to take care of others! However, the answer "my child first" is a good indication of how people tend to think of strength: Sacrificing themselves or enduring hardships without caring for themselves.

What did you answer? How many times have you felt yourself challenged and found yourself saying "If I was strong, I would be able to deal with this?" Strength is the courage to recognize our own weaknesses and being able to say "I need a break!". So take a moment each day to do something for yourself: Relax, breathe, take a walk, listen to some music, write in a diary, sweat out some tension, anything that momentarily relieves the burden which otherwise slowly but surely saps your strength. Remember the example of the frog that sits in water that is slowly brought to a boil. He stays in the water since he adapts to the slowly increasing heat, until he dies. Nobody is a Superman!

Anorexia

Many people think Anorexia is about staying thin and "beautiful". In fact, it's more about an addiciton to a feeling that there is something in our lives that is all ours and can't be touched by anyone or anything else. It's about locking out the scary world. It's about keeping a lid on our frightening emotions. The way to combat Anorexia is to come to terms with the fact that the world can sometimes be an unstable or hurtful place. Running to a place where you feel in control is so addictive you may find yourself unable to leave and deal with real problems!

 

Control

"Control" - Everyone likes to feel a sense of control over their lives. But when we start to believe we need to maintain control over the uncontrollable - e.g. emotions, uncertainty about the future - then the ensuing anxiety is not a result of our surroundings but of our expectations!

OCD

OCD is an evil, evil "disorder". The more you try to calm yourself, the worse it gets! But if you can just allow yourself to wait a few minutes each day with your obsessions before calming yourself, you'll get stronger from day to day, and the obsessions will subside!

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Phobia

Phobias: Did you know that a phobia has nothing to do with the thing you're afraid of? Everyone fears something, but phobia is actually the result of fear of feeling fear! If you allow yourself to sit in fear, it will pass, and so will the phobia.

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