A good video about depression during the holidays

http://www.sharewik.com/videos/808795

 

eCBT for the iPhone

If you have an iPhone, check out the eCBT app: http://bit.ly/92953S

"eCBT Mood© helps people not only track their mood, but gives them the tools they need to actively identify and challenge the negative automatic thoughts that fuel depression." - Dr. Michael Hufford, CEO/Chief Science Officer- MindApps

 

5 stages of grief/mourning (humorous)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YEZJei6DD0o

Sleeping problems

Sleeping difficulties are usually just temporary reactions to stress in our lives and pass within a short period of time. However, stressing out from not being able to sleep, and even worse - trying to force yourself to sleep - is a good way to develop a long-term sleeping disorder. Let yourself relax, if you can't sleep, get up, have a glass of milk, take a short break, then try again. The best thing you CAN do is maintain a little structure in your sleepstyle - don't associate your bedroom with anything other than sleep (and lovemaking); keep it dark and quiet; don't let yourself sleep late; don't take naps until you have resolved your sleeping problems; try relaxation techniques before going to sleep. But ultimately, remember: Sleeping is like feeling, it's not under your control, so don't try to control it, or you'll dig yourself deeper.

Coping

Most of us have heard the book or phrase "All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten". This includes playing! Or more specifically, doing things that are fun and enjoyable. But who has time to have fun when we have to work two jobs and take care of kids??

Coping consists of the mechanisms we use to "let off steam". Whether we want to or not, our bodies are made to release stress in one form or another. Examples of positive coping strategies are talking, writing, arts, hobbies, sports, walks, reading, trips, movies, meditation, and many many more. Examples of negative coping strategies (negative = harmful cost despite the immediate release) are smoking, drugs, drinking, outbursts, aggression, self-sabotage, overworking, avoiding, overcompensating, the list goes on. A lack of coping strategies is also considered negative, since it results in fatigue, emotional drain, anxiety, weariness, anhedonia (lack of pleasure), anger, impatience, physical pains, stress, secondary aging, illness, and of course, higher risk to disease.

The conclusion? Have a little fun ... or suffer.

5 Ways to Tackle Perfectionism

By THERESE J. BORCHARD
November 1, 2009
Source: http://bit.ly/2hvhUL


This week I have the pleasure of interviewing Michelle Russell, who writes the fantastic blog, “Practice Makes Imperfect.” Since we talk about perfectionism a lot on Beyond Blue — because it’s so related to depression — I thought she’d be a perfect guest to interrogate on this topic.
Therese: What are five ways a person can tackle perfectionism?
Michelle: Here they are …
1. Compare yourself to others.
I know, this probably sounds surprising when the prevailing wisdom says not to. But we perfectionists need frequent reality checks.
Think about whatever has you firing on all cylinders and what you’re hoping to achieve. A report with absolutely no errors? A living room fit to be featured in House Beautiful? A body like the cover model on that fitness magazine at the checkout stand?
Now notice how many people are doing quite well, thankyouverymuch, without raising the bar so high. People really do have satisfying relationships in non-model bodies, successful careers despite the occasional typo or misjudgment, and comfortable, happy homes with undusted mantelpieces. It’s good to look around and remind ourselves of this from time to time.
2. Use the 10-Year Question.
If you catch yourself ruminating about something you think you’ve done or might do less than perfectly, ask yourself, “Ten years from today, will I even remember this, let alone care about how well it was done or whether it was done at all?”
In the extremely rare cases where you answer “yes” and “yes,” go ahead and give the doing or fixing your best effort, and then move on. Most of the time, though, this little thought exercise will help dissolve your worry, or at least shrink it down to a more manageable size.
3. Take some time out.
Perfectionists overcommit–to others and to themselves. See if you can find a way out of an upcoming obligation (or two, or three) that you don’t really want to do but think you “should.” Also, look at your own to-do list and see what you can defer for now, or even take off your list entirely. To get my post on this, click here.
Now don’t just fill up this time with other stuff. There will always be more stuff. Allow it to be “white time” (analogous to white space) during which you have absolutely no agenda. Do whatever your body and spirit want–take a nap, go somewhere for a change of scenery, stretch, dance, meditate, walk on grass, finger-paint.
Perfectionism stems from an overly self-critical mind. Give your mind a break and let it rest. Nurture the other parts of you — they deserve it. Gradually, your mind will learn that the world doesn’t end if you leave it to itself for a little while.
4. Take one tiny but direct step.
It seems counterintuitive, but there’s a direct link between perfectionism and procrastination. You’d think perfectionists would want everything done neatly, thoroughly and on time, right? Instead, we often feel such pressure to do things perfectly that we overwhelm ourselves before we even start. Then we keep ourselves occupied with a million other things so that we always have a handy excuse for why we’re not doing Whatever It Is.
Try picking one very tiny thing and just doing it. Make the thing so small that it doesn’t intimidate you. But make sure it points directly toward something you want. Don’t browse the Internet for workout shoes–go outside and walk around the block. Just once. But do it. A single baby step is worth more than any amount of beating yourself up over not taking any action.
5. Ask yourself what you’d say to a friend.
I have a friend who calls me on this whenever she observes me going into overdrive. “If I were handling everything you are right now,” she asks me, “and I started criticizing you the way you’re criticizing yourself, would you stand there and take it? Or would you tell me to go fly a kite?” (pregnant pause) “Then why do you let you talk to yourself that way?”
It’s a good question, isn’t it?
Therese: What is your biggest obstacle in “practicing imperfection”? How do you get around it?
Michelle: I’m hyper-organized (is there a medical diagnosis for that? oh, yeah, OCD) and a diehard tweaker of systems. I can spend hours and hours searching for the “perfect” planner and then customizing it for every possible contingency, but then never actually using it.
I also seem to have this need to “clear the decks” before starting on major projects. So no, I can’t possibly track my finances until I have all my stray papers filed so I can find them, which means going through the box of papers in the corner, which means pruning my file cabinet of outdated material to make room for the new, which means getting some WD-40 to fix the drawer because it’s almost stuck shut, which means a trip to . . . etc., etc.
One of my newest mantras has become “Just start somewhere.” I’ve realized (verrrry grudgingly) that the inbox of my life will never be empty. Things will never coalesce into a perfect starting point with neatly squared corners and no loose ends. So I continue giving myself pep talks about this. And slowly, very slowly, I’m noticing how small steps really do have a cumulative effect over time. That not everything has to be exactly the way I’d like it for me to experience progress.
My blog is a great example. I’ve never done anything like it before, and I’m completely intimidated by the technical aspects of it. I also wanted to have something like 20 posts in the hopper before I even launched, because I was afraid of getting writer’s block. But in April of this year I enlisted the help of some friends to set up the site, and just started writing.
Does the website look and function exactly the way I want it to? Nope. Are there sections I need to complete, or even create? Absolutely. Can I afford a professional site design at this point? Hah! But I didn’t let any of that keep me from starting, and I’m learning as I go. I’ve made some great online friends and received helpful feedback and advice, none of which would have happened if I hadn’t plunged in the deep end and just started somewhere. And I’m having fun!

Therese J. Borchard writes the daily Beliefnet.com blog Beyond Blue (voted by Psych Central as one of the Top 10 Depression Blogs) and moderates Group Beyond Blue, the Beliefnet Community online support group for depression. Her memoir “Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes” will be released in January of 2010. Subscribe to Beyond Blue here or visit her at www.ThereseBorchard.com.

Nervous Ticks

Clearing our throats excessively, tapping our foot, fidgeting with our fingers, tensing our stomach muscles, stretching/pursing our lips, blinking rapidly, sniffing through our nose, even coughing, can all be examples of nervous ticks. EVERYBODY's got them, and there is nothing abnormal about them, since our body is our medium for expressing anxiety. However, if they become an irritation or disrupt our daily lives, we CAN reduce them with simple techniques intended to raise our awareness and ability to catch them before they happen.

Can't decide? Indecision is the worst decision!

Having just moved into a new apartment, I went shopping yesterday for household items like cleaning materials, and was overwhelmed with the variety of options before me. Wipe or spray? With or without bleach? Which brand? Did a higher price mean better quality?

 

I felt time passing and my anxiety rising as I grabbed item after item trying to compare and make a choice. Finally out of frustration I moved on and left the decision for another day, perhaps after I had done my “homework”.

 

How often have you found yourself at an intersection struggling to choose the best road to take? How often have you avoided making a decision for fear of making the “wrong” decision, which perhaps would result in some catastrophic chain of events? Or making a decision and later doubting your choice for hours or days?

 

Fear of the unknown - i.e. when there is more than one viable option or when the result of our actions is unclear – results in a sense of anxiety which is sometimes paralyzing. But not a day goes by that we don’t make hundreds of little decisions, often unconsciously, where the outcome is unclear. If you look back you’ll find that most often your foreseen catastrophe never took place. The price we pay for indecision is often greater than making a mistake: mental anguish, putting off time-sensitive decisions, inability to enjoy the fruits of a “good enough” decision. Often the mistakes we make aren’t as bad as we predict, and even give us more confidence to make decisions in the future.

 

So the next time you find yourself stuck in the grocery store, give yourself 30 seconds to review the facts, then grab a “good enough” option and move on! That’s what I’m going to do later today.

Black-and-white thinking

Black and white thinking is when we believe something needs to be "perfect" or else it is unworthy. This may relate to our work, our relationships, or ourselves. But in this world, how often is perfection attained? And how often was your boss really that unhappy enough with 80% or 90% quality? When we demand more of ourselves than the environment, we end up beating ourselves down even when our behavior was "good enough", and missing an opportunity to be happy!

 

 

The Superman Syndrome

Pop Quiz: When the steward/ess prepares you for flight and explains about oxygen masks, who should you put the mask on first if you have a child? Your child or yourself?

Most people instinctively say their child. However, the answer is "yourself". Why? Because if you don't take care of yourself you aren't strong enough to take care of others! However, the answer "my child first" is a good indication of how people tend to think of strength: Sacrificing themselves or enduring hardships without caring for themselves.

What did you answer? How many times have you felt yourself challenged and found yourself saying "If I was strong, I would be able to deal with this?" Strength is the courage to recognize our own weaknesses and being able to say "I need a break!". So take a moment each day to do something for yourself: Relax, breathe, take a walk, listen to some music, write in a diary, sweat out some tension, anything that momentarily relieves the burden which otherwise slowly but surely saps your strength. Remember the example of the frog that sits in water that is slowly brought to a boil. He stays in the water since he adapts to the slowly increasing heat, until he dies. Nobody is a Superman!

Anorexia

Many people think Anorexia is about staying thin and "beautiful". In fact, it's more about an addiciton to a feeling that there is something in our lives that is all ours and can't be touched by anyone or anything else. It's about locking out the scary world. It's about keeping a lid on our frightening emotions. The way to combat Anorexia is to come to terms with the fact that the world can sometimes be an unstable or hurtful place. Running to a place where you feel in control is so addictive you may find yourself unable to leave and deal with real problems!

 

Control

"Control" - Everyone likes to feel a sense of control over their lives. But when we start to believe we need to maintain control over the uncontrollable - e.g. emotions, uncertainty about the future - then the ensuing anxiety is not a result of our surroundings but of our expectations!

OCD

OCD is an evil, evil "disorder". The more you try to calm yourself, the worse it gets! But if you can just allow yourself to wait a few minutes each day with your obsessions before calming yourself, you'll get stronger from day to day, and the obsessions will subside!

Are you a Twitterer?

Are you a Twitterer? Follow me: http://twitter.com/doctorohad

Phobia

Phobias: Did you know that a phobia has nothing to do with the thing you're afraid of? Everyone fears something, but phobia is actually the result of fear of feeling fear! If you allow yourself to sit in fear, it will pass, and so will the phobia.

Welcome! If you are a fan of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy and would like to get interesting tidbits about CBT, please feel free to join.